Pukekura News
October Issue 5

Puke Pub
We were raided by low lives in various forms. They visited the Puke Pub over the last couple of weeks, first ones were carrying a clipboard and represented government agencies, the reason for their visit left us not amused. We were accused by these characters of serving Trout and Wood Pigeon in our Wildfoods Restaurant. “Don’t they know our speciality is Blue Duck in Giant Weta Sauce”.
The allegations were from people, whom they would not name, not only were these allegations ridiculous, they were dam right slanderous. We don’t like paying our hard earned money to lawyers, but in this case we figure its money well spent, so we have handed these allegations over to them.

We don’t have a description of the next low life to visit, But they obvious didn’t intend to hang around for a beer, as they broke into the coin phone, removed the contents and attempted to do the same with the till. Lucky for them they couldn’t get in as they might not have believed that we actually don’t make any money here and we sometimes raid our own phone box.

No Shows
No sign yet of the transit survey to study the speed through Pukekura. It takes a while to get the pencils sharpened I guess.

The Bushman’s Centre
Two new Possum staff members began work at The Bushman’s Centre. With the difficulty in getting staff in South Westland, these two were captured and forced to work here against their will. We are thinking of using this system to boost our kitchen staff numbers.
A few new sneaky tricks installed by The Pukekura Sneaky Tricks Dept have been added to the museum.
WHERE HAVE ALL THE TOURISTS GONE;
After the school holidays things have died again and the road is quiet. Our resident Whitebaiters have been smiling at last, with good weather and good catches (even though they won’t admit this). Kevin & Margaret have now left to head back to Kaikoura after a mixed season for them. We hope to see them again next year.

Hot Pools
The Hot Pools have under gone a major sealing process to help prevent leaks. Its getting to the time of year when council meetings will be held back in the pools.

Smart Arses
It was pointed out by our friendly bank manager, a spelling mistake in our last issue. We put them in on purpose to check that you read the paper properly. Look out for this monts one!.